Be yourself. The world worships the original.
This quote is the main premise behind this site. But to truly be yourself isn’t as easy as some think. It takes a lot to find out who we are. It can sometimes take a lifetime. It can take blood. It can take sweat, and it can definitely take tears. Every time your confused about who you are I want you to come back to this site and explore the enormous potential you can learn from all the pages and posts and info that I’m throwing at peoples eyes.
So who are we?
How to see yourself as you really are
The title in which is actually a book by the Dalai Lama. The concept in which all human beings have it within themselves the ability to achieve happiness and a meaningful life and the key to grasping that goal is through self-knowledge, which we will go through here today. How to avoid the common negative notions of self and perspective on life and how to see the world from a more loving, human viewpoint. Using personal experiences and anecdotes you can combine meditative concentration and love, through where true enlightenment is attained and will be the key to your happiness.
In the book he concludes the saying, “Even though it is necessary in the beginning to have a strong will in order to develop love and compassion, will is not sufficient to develop these altruistic attitudes limitlessly. It is important to join the practice of love and compassion with the practice of insight. Even if you seek to help someone out of concern, without insight you cannot be very clear about what benefit will come of your efforts. A combination is needed: a good human heart as well as a good human brain. Working together, we can achieve a lot.”
Love and Compassion
You are the original. There is no one like you, with the same values, insights and memories on the planet. Remember that, if you’re going through depression or a downward cycle just remember that out of all the universe, out of all the creatures, out of all the animals and plants and anything that grows, you yourself are unique. The human antidote to a lot of lifes problems is actually love and compassion, which in theory would also be the essential ingredients to world peace.
We are social animals; the main factors keeping us together are love and compassion. When you have love and compassion for a very poor person, your feelings are based on altruism. By contrast, love toward your husband, wife, children, or a close friend is often mixed with attachment, and when your attachment changes, your kindness may disappear. Complete love is based not on attachment but on altruism, which is the most effective response to suffering.
Love and compassion are what we must strive to cultivate in ourselves, extending their present boundaries all the way to limitlessness. Undiscriminating, spontaneous, unlimited love and compassion are possible even toward someone who has done harm to you — your enemy. And their power is astonishing.
Buddhism actually teaches us to view all sentient beings as our dear mothers and to show our gratitude to our mothers by loving all sentient beings. One of the first actions we took in life was to suck milk from our mother’s nipple, mother’s milk being the very symbol of love and compassion. Scientists have documented through research on monkeys that offspring who are separated from their mothers for a prolonged period are more tense and harsh, lacking the capacity to express friendliness to others, whereas those brought up with their mothers are more playful, which implies happiness.
According to the Buddhist outlook, we are born and reborn countless numbers of times, which means it is conceivable that each sentient being has been our parent at one time or another. In this way all beings share family ties. From the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents; later in life, when we face the suffering of disease and old age, we are again dependent on the kindness of others. If at the beginning and end of our lives we depend upon the kindness of others, why in the middle of our lives should we not act kindly toward them? It is the pragmatic choice.
So how do we find ourselves?
We look inward. At the roles we play. The path to figuring it all out requires a determination to stay committed to the trail of ourselves, to hang on and keep moving forward, even when it gets tough – which it does. We travel to our darkest depths inside ourselves and see everything we’ve hidden, covered up, locked, and repressed.
All of this will surface and it will be a wild ride. But, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel: our perspectives about our selves and this life shift tremendously and open the doors for some miraculous opportunities, love, peace and self acceptance. I’ve learned some of these lessons the hard way but once I learned them, life became a lot clearer and the road to wherever I’m going piqued by becoming effortless and enjoyable in more moments than not. There are still times that arise which aren’t so picturesque, I’m just better equipped to ride that rocky wave and can remind myself to settle into what I know.
Tips to finding yourself
1. Accept yourself above all else. Resolve to make peace with who you are so that you can start showing up for this world. When we’re constantly overwhelmed by our insecurities, the light of our authentic self does not shine as bright, and its that light that draws in every person, experience and opportunity that aligns with our happiness. Look inside of yourself, at your values, do you like to help people, do you like to communicate with people, do you like engaging with people, do you look up online at sites like this to find out what type of person you are. Chances are, you’re a good person looking to make some changes in their life for the better, and self betterment is the number 1 factor of self growth.
2. Perfect is not real. Nothing’s perfect. Nobody is. Flawless doesn’t even exist and it’s not even attractive. Someone trying to be perfect is hard to get close to because it’s not realistic. So, just relax. Everything we consider a flaw about ourselves someone else might find endearing. Just get real and let that lead the way.
3. Accept everything. Stop judging. Drop the expectations of what you want, how you think someone should behave, and the order things need to happen in. The good stuff is easy to accept because it makes you happy, but change your tune about the bad stuff too. Find the lesson in everything. The tough stuff, the people who challenge us – they are our greatest teachers as they force us to unravel the layers that cover our authentic selves.
4. Be selfish. Find the balance between 50% selflessness, and 50% selfishness. Take your “me” time, know when you need it, and learn how to give it to yourself. Figure out what energizes you, what makes you happy, how you connect to yourself.
Don’t sacrifice those things – put them first. In the end, you can’t rely on anyone but yourself to bring you true happiness so stop waiting for anything or anyone outside yourself to try to start being the vessel that helps you receive it.
5. Use everyone else as a mirror. If you allow yourself to recognize in other people that which exists within you, you will become aware of how and where to shift. I read somewhere once, “Any quality which you are attracted to, or unattracted to, you do not lack.”
This means, every thing about others we put on a pedestal, or every thing which we are frustrated by, resides somewhere within ourselves. All it takes is acknowledging that to find it. If it’s positive, enhance it, if it’s negative, appreciate that it reared it’s ugly head so you could see it, but make a note to self that you’re cool to move on without it.
6. Connect to your core. Your core is your stabilizer; physically, emotionally, and mentally. When you feel off in a workout, or in your day, or notice a negative thought or insecurity arise, engage your belly. Draw your stomach in, and up – hold it, then take some deep breathes and you will immediately center yourself in a powerful way. It’s a very simple, life-changing tool.
Use these tools to help yourself. Help yourself grow. Have a look through these other posts about growing, self-development and the way to truly love yourself again.
Love & smiles,
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